the argument for the music (before the misery, that is…)

at first i thought about maybe doing a little dialectic, a la Plato’s Republic… maybe a little allegory of the cave action… then i got lazy and figured that i could just divert you to one of my favorite websites which coincidentally is about music causing misery: ruinedmusic.com , but i figured that although the following argument is not at all a sound philosophical one, it is a pretty strong argument for music coming before the misery…

Chris’ Recipe for the Music Before the Misery*

Step 1: Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Step 2: Combine the following ingredients in equal parts in a large mixing bowl (add some nostalgia to your preference):

1. Damien Rice’s “The Blower’s Daughter” or “Elephant”
2. Rachael Yamagata’s “Worn Me Down” – unplugged
3. Fiona Apple’s “I Know”
4. Ben Harper’s “Another Lonely Day” or “Walk Away”
5. Ray Lamontagne’s “Burn”
6. Iron & Wine’s cover of the Postal Service song “Such Great Heights”
7. David Gray’s “L’s Song” or “This Year’s Love”
8. John Mayer’s “Comfortable”
9. Norah Jones’ “Nearness of You” (oh wait – that one might just be me)

Bake for 25 minutes, when done, let sit and if you don’t feel miserable you have no emotions (just compiling this is making me miserable). CASE AND POINT!

next please.

* Note: The Above dish is best if served with an Italian Red (Dolcetto D’Alba is my fav) or Spanish Red.

the argument for the misery…

i posed the question, “what came first the music or the misery?” in my first post… and i’m sure my philosophy professors from my college days would appreciate the following effort (being as that i didn’t put any effort in school)… anyhow for the first installment of this riveting dialogue, I present to you ladies and gentleman …

the chronological “even a caveman can do it” argument FOR the misery:

I. if music came before the misery then historically/ anthropologically/ archeaologically speaking (whatever… i say what i say you’ll know what i mean), music and instruments would have shown up near or before early humans showing signs of being miserable.

II. music and instruments did not show up chronologically speaking before early humans being miserable (they had other things to be miserable about)

Therefore (because modus tollens tells us If A then B, If ~B then ~A) we can conclude that music did not infact come before the misery, rather misery came before the music.

the first premise, the conditional one, is pretty straightforward and one cannot disagree with the relationship set forth that to come before means that there would be evidence that one appeared in time prior to the other. so to say one (the music) came before the other(the misery) there would have to be evidence that it did.

the declarative premise, the second one, states that there is no anthropological evidence that music came before the misery, for early humans were far miserable before there were any traces of music.

pretty good argument being as that cave drawings sure show many humans miserable running from sabre tooth tigers and crazy wooly mammoths before they show any sort of music or instrument. or if you don’t believe in evolution (ummmm??), it still makes sense being as that Adam obviously was in misery because Eve was crazy and there was no mention of music in the garden of eden, yet (i think – whatever).

i immediately regret starting this.

correlation between prevalance of sadness in music and type/cost of pants

Here are the coordinates for a chart I scribbled out on the back of a piece of paper to show the correlation between the prevalence of sadness in music and the type of jean/pant worn. You may notice one outlier so I just figured it was an aberration and didn’t include it in my regression line:

Note: Coordinates are presented in the (X, Y) format

(Justin Timberlake’s “What Goes Around Comes Around”, Nudie Jeans)
(John Legend’s “(Another) Again”, Paper Denim)
(Damien Rice’s “Delicate”, Earnest Sewn Jeans)
(Rachael Yamagata’s “Worn Me Down”, Vintage Jeans)
(Anything Uber Hipster/Indie, American Apparel’s Colored Denim)
(James Blunt, “Beautiful”, Silk Leopard Thong)
(Ani DiFranco’s “You Had Time”, Skirt Made of Hemp)
(John Mayer’s “Comfortable”, Grey Sweatpants)
(Ben Harper’s “Walk Away”, No pants)

If you see me wearing any of these pants you can assume I’m listening to that music (or vice versa).

it’s about time for a top 5…

In the spirit of Nick Hornby’s “High Fidelity” (if anyone’s tracking, that’s the 3rd mention of it so far), here is a good warm-up Top 5….

My Top 5 Favorite Albums of 2006:

1. Justin Timberlake’s “FutureSex/LoveSounds” – shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, being as the Justin Timberlake is #1 on a few other lists, but “FutureSex/LoveSounds” exceeded any expectations I had. With tasteful influences, a clear vision, and songs that are both catchy and artsy all at the same time… there is no other spot for JT than #1. Songs to download: “LoveSounds/I Think She Knows” and “What Goes Around Comes Around”.

2. The Rapture’s “Pieces of the People We Love” – wasn’t crazy about their 3 other albums, even though they made me dance in the passenger seat of a 2-door honda civic… but The Rapture, who hails from Brooklyn, decided that for their 4th they’d clean up their act, hone in on their songwriting, and produce some damn good focused pieces of music. The Beatles/Queen -esque intro to the album’s opening number “Don Gon Do It” will hook you and never let you go. Song to download “Whoo.. Alright, Yeah… Uh-Huh”.

3. John Legend’s “Once Again” - I once met John Legend, he shook my hand really hard. He can sing, he can play piano, and he can write a damn good love song… besides when was the last time you heard a real really good R&B album??? Songs to download: “Heaven” and “Again”.

4. Damien Rice’s “9″ – I’m obviously smitten with Damien Rice (his first album, “O”, is on my top 5 of all time), but “9″ took a few listens for me to love. Blatantly deciding not to go the way of other sophomore albums, Damien decided that he wanted to put an album together that sounded good & whole, regardless of it showing any change or growth… truth is, that attitude is exactly what was missing from his first album but is very much present in his live shows. “9″ pays it off, as it is darker, wittier, funnier, and angrier than its predecessor. Songs to download: “Accidental Babies” & “Rootless Tree” (click link to stream the full album).

5. Cat Power’s “The Greatest” – sexy and yet so vulnerable… I just want to hold Chan “Cat Power” Marshall and tell her that “everything’s going to be alright”. No, but really, before this album Cat Power was in and out of rehab, smoked like a chimney, and posed naked in french magazines… wait that’s what she was like after this album too!!! Songs to download: “The Greatest” & “Slept in Bars”.

Honorable Mentions: Lily Allen’s “Alright, Still”, John Mayer’s “Continuum”, Bob Dylan’s “Modern Times”, & Sergio Mendes’ “Timeless”.

Re: A Public Letter to Chris

Dear Ben,

thank you for your letter. clearly after living with me for a year you didn’t realize that i don’t read books – those books on my shelves are just to make me look wellread (that is, if you consider The Dog Book and Nick Hornby good reading). but seeing as that Chuck Klosterman has created the “perfect storm” (read as: former writer for Spin/current writer for GQ & Esquire + being bill simmons’ friend + blaming john cusak for relationship problems = perfect storm) i will probably pick up a copy of said book and read it. thank you.

On a side note: I find it interesting he’s chosen Lloyd Dobler, personally, i would’ve gone with Rob Gordon from High Fidelity… but maybe he hasn’t gotten to that part of his story yet.

Anyhoo, hope all is well… your pictures look really amazing, keep em coming. I look forward to the Christianized-”Evolution Never Happened”, bedazzeled jeans wearing, and euro-mullet sporting Benny 2.0.

rabbits + unicorns/hipsters in tight jeans = p.i.n.k. vodka

at the YRB music issue launch last night at Manor they were serving this caffeine and guarana (sp?) infused “premium” vodka – p.i.n.k. vodka… i have no idea what the name’s about. had i been working at their agency i would’ve laughed when i saw that (then again you’d be surprised at how bad people are at naming things).

Anyhow, i thought that given the LSP ‘07 i’d try it out… so like 8 drinks later, ok fine, 4 3 drinks later, i’m doing fine, enjoying the glowing cups they’re serving the drinks in, and dancing to the very enjoyable soundtrack provided by DJ Junior Sanchez (really if that was him, i was impressed)… next thing i know i’m laying in bed, it’s 6:45am, and i’m reeling from some of the most gnarly dreams ever.

With that said, if that’s what you’re into… i can, without restraint, recommend drinking p.i.n.k. vodka. If you’re scared of the pics that are inevitably going to show up on flickr and myspace accounts across the web (i think i remember jumping?)… well maybe you should stay away. Below is a chart i created showing the effects to help you understand (idea completely taken from one of my favorite blogs – indexed and also comedian Demetri Martin) :

what am i looking forward to?

am i looking forward to….

• the iPhone? yes sir.
  • trying to convince my parents that verizon wireless is evil? yes.
  • after unsuccessfully trying to get my parents to switch our family plan to cingular, realizing i’ll have to pay for my own service? no.
• new album by bloc party? yes (but only if they sell it at Urban Outfitters).
• new album by the postal service? yes pretty please (only if they promise not to sell the rights of their songs for UPS commercials).
• new clap your hands say yeah album? oh snap, yea.
• nyy pitchers and catchers reporting to spring training in 4 weeks? yes!
  • one of the elder yankee pitchers getting hurt? no.
  • then having to promote philip hughes to the majors? yes.
• Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant’s new movie, Music & Lyrics? you know it.
  • watching said movie on opening night (2/14)? can’t wait!
• snowboarding this weekend? um yea!

state of my…err… union?

After listening to President Bush’s 2007 State of the Union address and Senator Jim Webb’s (D-Va) response on behalf of the Democrat party, i must admit that regardless of my own political beliefs, i felt a bit refreshed. From President Bush’s greeting of “Madam” speaker to Webb’s self-authored speech (he threw away the one written by democrat party leadership)… there’s a fresh air of thought blowing through the capitol and although it’s bittersweet, it is better late than never.

That feeling of refreshment inspired, nay, it compelled me – you see I don’t normally have new years resolutions per say but it feels as though with a new year and a new blog – to have my first official State of My Union. The following is the transcript from my address that occurred this morning from 8:15am – 8:45am in the shower (yes it was a longer-than-normal shower, but I had to pause for numerous applause breaks).

Madam Speaker of the Apartment Kristin, Vice President Luca, members of the shower, distinguished guests, and fellow citizens:

Though I know I should shower every morning, custom brings us here every other morning. But what truly brings us here today is our common goal for the amelioration of my union. Now people may ask, “how can it be a union if it’s only one person and who the hell uses the word amelioration?” to which I shall respond, “yeah but still… it’s my union and I will use whatever words I want! So there.” (applause).

The rest of the transcript after the juuuummmp….

around the world…

Let’s all wish benny the best as he flies off to South Africa tonight to help save the world before he comes back to help save you… for now he’ll be blogging his adventures here at Smarter than the Average Bear(not) .

Coming to you from a buddhist temple in northern India and vowing not to do certain things, Tyler’s Taylor’s putting all of that energy into a really great blog of insights, commentary, and observations (and great photo’s too!).

Live from Senegal, Africa (and also saving the world) comes Evan, my resident Peace Corp friend.

From the collective art concious around the world comes Heel Press. The Heel Press is a place to share your creativity – your art, your writing, your photography, anything – and be part of a greater creative community. Please do check it out, one of my bestfriends’ left his cushy – albeit crappy – job to start this up and it’s something I really believe in (plus you may find some pieces on there by me!).

not your run-of-the-mill first blog entry (i swear)

You remember when the iPod came out and there was that kid who you knew was going to be the first on the block with one, but then one day as your listening to your shiny fourth-generation ipod you notice he’s still toting around his cd player and you’re all surprised like “whaa…”? Well i’ve been told that when it comes to blogs… i’m that kid.

So really there was nothing holding me back from having a blog other than pride… and well, recently, i’ve decided that pride is overrated (among many things).

So for the ceremonial first entry i could tell you all about myself and what this blog will be about and blah blah blah (that’s for another day, another entry). Instead I’ll just leave you with this question, which sums it up pretty well anyways…

What came first: the music or the misery?